Comcast Cabal

The Philadelphia Inquirer is reporting that the FCC has done an about-face on "a la Carte" cable service, where you pay for only the channels you want. Reversing a previous stand, the FCC now believes that it would save consumers money.

In 2004, the FCC was headed by Michael Powell, an ardent free-marketeer who was under pressure, as was Congress, by an unusual alliance.

Consumer groups were alarmed by relentless cable price increases since the 1996 deregulation. Conservative groups were outraged by Janet Jackson's Super Bowl "wardrobe malfunction," which occurred on broadcast TV but drew attention to cable because, let's face it, it wouldn't have raised an eyebrow on MTV.

Both groups embraced a la carte pricing as an answer. Both then watched as their hopes were dashed by a dense, 122-page analysis of the video marketplace conducted at Powell's behest by FCC staff.

Now the 2006 FCC says the 2004 FCC got it wrong, largely because it relied on a faulty study conducted by industry consultants Booz Allen Hamilton and titled: "The a la Carte Paradox: Higher Consumer Costs and Reduced Programming Diversity."

This got me thinking about which of the channels (that I currently get) I would pick to keep. This doesn't include the local channels that I could pick up on a pair of rabbit ears or the HBO channels that we've gotten for free since we moved into this house (shhhhhh).

Here's what $54 currently gets me, and what I would keep:

• CN8 - All the bad things about talk radio, on TV.
• QVC – Because I have money to burn.
• C-SPAN – I watch this quite a bit, but I don’t need it.
• C-SPAN2 – Only exists to make C-SPAN look interesting.
• TBS Superstation – The Seinfeld Channel.
• ESPN – Must have.
• TNT – The Shawshank Channel.
• Comedy Central – I would miss John Steward & Steve Cobert and that's all.
• Speed Channel – People, they’re just cars, do they really need their own channel?
• A&E – Neither artistic nor entertaining anymore.
• ABC Family – Featuring quality family television - like the 700 Club.
• Sci Fi Channel – I just don’t get it.
• Discovery Channel – Sold its soul for Monster Garage.
• CNN – Anderson Cooper does nothing for me.
• Nickelodeon – You know, for the kids.
• Comcast Sportsnet – Gotta have for the Phillies.
• MTV – Pure evil.
• Lifetime Television – I would like to think that if I were a woman I still wouldn’t watch this crap.
• Game Show Network – Game show reruns. Can’t get much sadder than that.
• TV Land – Not a bad channel, I just don’t watch it.
• The Golf Channel – Eh…no.
• USA – Monk and bad movies. And I don’t watch Monk.
• AMC – Movie “classics” like Smokey and the Bandit 2.
• ESPN2 – Need it for baseball season.
• History Channel – Sometimes interesting but never must-see.
• MSNBC – If I need to keep one news channel I’ll keep this one for Countdown.
• CNBC – Like I want to know how the news affects rich people.
• VH1 – Seems like the same show is always on.
• CNN Headline News – Does this channel even know what it wants to be anymore?
• E! – Whatever.
• Cartoon Network – Only good for Aqua Teen and I can get that on DVD.
• Bravo – The Project Runway channel.
• BET – I know when I’m not wanted.
• TLC – Nothing good on anymore.
• Spike TV – Lifetime for men, and just as bad.
• Food Network – Alton! Alton!
• Court TV – Freaky.
• Home and Garden Television – Almost as worthy as Food Network.
• The Weather Channel – Weather without the stupid local weatherpeople.
• Animal Planet – Turn off the TV and stop ignoring your pet.
• OLN – If you really like the outdoor sports, why aren’t you out there doing it?
• Style – Not since Nigella left.
• EWTN – Religious channel that thinks Pat Robertson is too liberal.
• Discovery Health – Remember when operations were considered gross?
• HSN – Riiiiiiight.
• G4 Video Game Television – You’re watching a channel about video games, people. Go out and get some sun. Join the world around you.
• CMT – At least they play some cool country sometimes.
• Turner Classic Movies – Unlike AMC, they really do play classics. But I’ve got Netflix.
• Fox News Channel – Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
• The Hallmark Channel – It’s like Michael Landon never died.
• Shop NBC – Is this a real channel?
• FX – Whoa, dude, they can curse on basic cable?

I'm counting eight keepers, and two of those (Weather Channel & MSNBC) could be replaced by the internet. So SIX GOOD CHANNELS! I'm paying 54 bucks for six channels. That's almost 10 bucks a channel. Bring on the a la Carte already.

Comments

[Luna]

I'm a woman and I say Lifetime sucks. Well, except for the The Golden Girls. Gotta love ol' sarcastic ladies.

[Donna]

PBS, NJN, MSNBC, Nickelodeon, TMC, Discovery Health, The Style Network, A&E, The History Channel, and the Food Network would pretty much keep our family entertained.