Hey! Everybody remembers those old Polaner All Fruit commercials, right? You know the one where all the oh-so-civilized diners are enjoying their All Fruit-enhanced meal when some yokel ruins everything by yelling, "please pass the JELLY." Oh, ho, ho, stupid yokel! Jelly? Pu-Leeeeeeze! Leave this fancy All Fruit-centric dinner party at once, you heathen!
Yeah, so anyway, this morning I'm making a PB&J for the eight-year-old's lunch and what do I see in our fridge? You guessed it:
So I ask you:
- Is there a sandwich spread maker out there more hypocritical than Polaner?
- How horrible must it be to work in the jelly production section of Polaner, knowing that your department is the laughing stock of the entire company? How do you even get yourself out of bed when all you're looking at for the next eight hours is a boatload of snootiness from the snobs over at the All Fruit production section?
And don't even get me started on this crap:
Blah. As if eating lamb isn't bad enough already.
And yeah, this is what I spend my time thinking about. Well, this and Mary Tyler Moore.
[By the way, the "jelly guy" (that's him up there) was played by Jason Byce, who apparently died last year. Not that those All Fruit elitists would give a damn.]