I know that this might be a bad time to bring up my little Division III alma mater, what with the big boys (and girls) of Division One playing their big bad b-ball tourney right now, but when you're a Prof you're a Prof all the way.
Major, major happenings at my old school. How do I know? Because I received an email today from my alumni association (their motto: damn you, Caller ID!) with this subject line:
Major Announcement at Rowan University
Holy Smokes! Major announcement? Last time there was a major announcement about Rowan it was still Glassboro State College, and it was to announce that some rich guy named Hank Rowan was donating $100 Million bucks to the school (one year after I graduated, of course).
As you may have heard, there’s more exciting news at Rowan University—and it’s big!
No I haven't heard! Christ, I've been up at Rutgers all week! What, what?!? What's the exciting news?
Below is a letter President Dr. Donald Farish sent to the campus community today. We thought it would interest you and provide you with insight into the latest news at Rowan.
The president is announcing it? Wait, let me sit down for this. Nope, I can't. Can't. Sit. Still. Just go ahead and tell me.
Dear University Community:
If you have picked up a newspaper, watched television or listened to radio in the last several days, you know that once again there is a major development at Rowan University.
Major development? Now it's starting to sound like a murder investigation. That certainly would be big news, but exciting? I guess, if you're into that who CSI thing. Personally, I've never understood why that stuff is so popular but that's just me...
But just in case you haven't heard, I'm writing to tell you about the latest news at Rowan:
Oh, right. Sorry. The news. Go right ahead. I'm ready.
Our agreement with Major League Soccer to pursue constructing a stadium for a professional soccer team at our West Campus at the Rt. 55/Rt. 322 junction in Harrison Township and Glassboro.
Oooooookay, I'm not sure what soccer has to do with the big news, but continue.
MLS hopes to have a team playing just a mile from our main campus by 2009. We’re still in the preliminary stages, and nothing is cast in stone, but that’s a very gratifying (and a bit overwhelming) possibility.
Seriously? That is the big news? Major League Soccer? Not even guaranteed, just the possibility of Major League Soccer? Maybe. Could happen. Maybe yes, maybe no. Don't hold your breath.
Come on Dr. Farish, there's got to be more, right?
And there will be more.
Phew, I knew it. Okay, hit me.
We have started a search for a master developer to construct athletic fields for our athletes (and public and private schools and youth organizations), student housing, restaurants and retail outlets. The $800-million to $1-billion Rowan West project will be the largest mixed-use, commercial and residential project in Gloucester County. Best of all, tuition dollars will not be used to pay for the work.
Oh, hey, that's... great. I mean, who doesn't think that a college should be in the "mixed-use, commercial and residential project" business? Other than athletics, is there any other reason for a college to exist? Let me think about that... sports... retail outlets... restaurants... nope, I can't think of anything else a school is supposed to be doing. But I can't shake the feeling that I'm forgetting something.
All right, so the next paragraph does show an education angle to the project.
The project will have a dramatic impact on the campus even beyond what I've already mentioned. We envision being able to create new programs, such as hospitality management, sports broadcasting and allied health. By freeing up money, the project will enable us to construct more academic buildings on our main campus. And we expect to be able to welcome more students to Rowan, a move that will help meet some of the burgeoning demand in New Jersey for a college degree.
But enough of that crap, let's get back to the sports.
When we started discussing expansion plans for Rowan a few years ago, we could only dream of an opportunity like this.
Really? You dreamt of a MLS franchise in South Jersey? Sometimes I have dreams about being back at college registration - naked and unable to sign up for any classes. Scary? Sure, but still a good bit better than dreaming about soccer.
Needless to say, we are thrilled with the possibilities this agreement means for us. We'll keep you posted as the project progresses.
Oh, please do.
[Before I get hate mail, let me just say that I kid 'cause I love. Go Profs!]