I was all set to do that end-of-year blogger thing where you post the first sentence of the first post of each month for the past year [wha?] like I did last year, but I've decided not to. Turns out, most of my first sentences suck. I spend way too much time explaining the purpose of my posts, and that's no fun.
But I do think I'm pretty good at writing post titles. In fact, most of the time the title is the best part of my posts, which makes sense since I usually end up spending more time trying to think of a title than writing the actual post (ironically, I couldn't think of a very good title for this post).
And so, here are what I consider my greatest post titles from the past year:
- Well, Sometimes - If I'm Real Quiet - I Can Sneak Up On Your Mom [One of many "kids say the darndest things" stories.]
- Warren Beatty - On The Other Hand - Couldn't Sink A Three If His Life Depended On It [What's the deal with those Masons?]
- Yeah, "He Is Risen" And All, But My Kids Let Me Sleep In Until 7:10 This Morning, And That's Pretty Awesome, Too [The story of an Easter miracle.]
- And You Can Keep Your Dr. Jacques Bailly, We've Got Alex Trebek At Our Bee. That's Right, A-L-E-X-T-R-... T-R-... Uh... T-R-... Um, Could You Repeat The Word Again? Mm-hmm. Huh. Could You Use It In A Sentence? [Don't try to out-geek geographers.]
- You Can Keep Your Shat On [Four beautiful letters, one lousy bird.]
- And The 3rd Baron Milverton Will Be Named "Arthur Fraser Frederick Arthur Richard Richard Richards." But Like His Father And His Father's Father Before Him, He'll Simply Be Known As "Dick." [My personal favorite.]
- To Understand Clearly One Has To Have Just One Eye. Wiki Has Two. [The sound of one blogger laughing.]
- The Part Of "Crazed Fan" Will Be Played By Mark, The Role Of "Unsuspecting Rock Star" Will Be Played By Graham Parker [My love of pub rock can be downright scary.]
- She's A Canadian, She's A Comedienne, She's A Camanadienne [Hey! I made up a word!]
- Why, Back In My Day, We Had To... Aw, Who Am I Kidding, We Never Had To Carry That Much Crap To School [Just don't tell the boy.]
- Miles Laydownish [Lie in the place where you live.]
- I'm Not As Think As You Overqualified I Am [...or something.]
- Better Prelate Than Never [It's alright, the pope didn't get it either.]
- Some Folks Are So Smart That They Can Play Chess Using 96 Pieces That Move 68 Different Ways. I, On The Other Hand, Like To Make Horsey Sounds Whenever I Move My Knights. [It's funny 'cause it's true.]
- How About Worsterest? Is That A Word? [Hey! I invented another word!]
I don't know, they seemed funnier when I wrote them. They'll be even better next year, I promise.
[I have no idea where the idea for this title came from. No. Idea.]
[That image up there is real, it's on Wiki's entry for the word "headline." Looks like NYC got the last laugh.]