Hitting Home

This is what I - and most of the residents of my town - came home to today. Last week a soldier who grow up in our little borough was killed in Iraq. Though he had been living in New Mexico he was still connected to the people here, having come back during some time off this winter and speaking to the students at his former grade school (which is across town and not the one the nine-year-old attends). The kids there had adopted him and had been sending him care packages.

Folks were asked to put their flags out this week in honor of the fallen soldier. Most people around here already fly their flags all the time anyway, but the missus and I have struggled with the message flying our flag sends.

Since most of the houses on our block had them, we had put up our flag when we moved to this block in 2000. When 9-11 happened, even more people put their flags out, and we kept ours up.

But than the US got mixed up in this phony-baloney war and Old Glory suddenly seemed to equal support for the war. Somewhere in there, a couple years ago I guess, we ended up taking ours down - probably after someone took the anti-war ribbon magnets off of our cars. We've been looking to replace it with this, a combination of stars and stripes and the peace sign. We never got around to it though, and then the request for the flags to come out this week was made. Then someone put this small flags all over town and the decision of what flag to fly was seemingly made for us, at least temporarily.

I think the missus and I are okay with this tribute, which is both intimate - with it's modest note on each flag - but also large-scale since it must have taken thousands of flags to cover all the streets around here. Its simple message doesn't come off as pro-war or anti-war, it allows you to mourn this death regardless of what angle you're coming from.

I never met the guy in that picture, but it makes me very sad looking at it. I doubt he and I had very much in common. Perhaps this guy supported the war or maybe he just wanted to serve his county and somehow ended up in Iraq instead. I don't know. I struggle with seeing gung-ho soldiers and their families (especially when the family is still - or more - for the war even after their child is killed in action). I know that most of them serve because they feel it's the right thing to do, and I'm glad that there are people out there braver than I am that are willing to do that.

At the same time, some of them get stuck in that might-makes-right mentality and end up enabling the "deciders" to fight whatever war they want, whenever they want. And in the end, I think that weakens both our country and our armed forces. Brave men and women aren't going to keep enlisting to fight these made-up wars.

The missus and I are still determined to get that peace flag, hoping that it will express how much we still love our country and how much we still hate the war. How supporting "our troops" doesn't equal supporting the war. For now, we'll have to settle for this bumper sticker (which is available free from the John Edwards campaign). I taped it on the inside of window, since I didn't want it to be removed like the last one. Not everyone is as tactful as the folks who put those little flags out today.

Comments

[Frank]

Wow, Mark, that is a powerful post...and close to home, indeed. A few of our neighbors have flags up, and for the same reason you cited, we won't have one either. But you made a good decision on the temporary display.

I'm going to order one of those Support the Troops signs from the Edwards campaign today.

[Janie]

It's too sad... there are no more words.

[howard]

I feel a pang every time I see the picture of a newly-departed service person. I wonder what the folks making all the deployment decisions feel when they think of such things.

It's sad to see the flag co-opted for one political ideology or another when it's meant to symbolize the things that bring us together, not pull us apart.

As for the sticker, perhaps it was free, but it now appears to be bundled with t-shirts (and a suggested $20/shirt donation).