After months of seeing those jarring Jetta commercials over and over (and over and over) again, I've come to this conclusion:
Volkswagen owners are the absolute worst drivers in the world.
Also, don't buy a Jetta. They attract violent accidents like a magnet.
Holy shi...
A Christmas confession:
As annoying as the Staples Department of Unexpected Gifts commercials are (Engelbert Humperdinck? Mr. Nibbles?), I must admit that I've been kind of sweet on Sweater Lady.
I'm sure going to miss her once Christmas is over.
And yes, the missus is aware of this.
[Post title source, which can be heard here.]
I hope that at least some of you got to see Spike Lee's two-part When the Levees Broke (which I pointed out to the missus is tagged as being a "Spike Lee Film" instead of the usual "Spike Lee Joint," hmm...). I realize that not everyone is lucky enough to have HBO, and even fewer are lucky enough get their HBO for free (shhh).
Spike's four-hour documentary (he calls it a "requiem") on what went wrong down in New Orleans last summer (because a documentary on what went right would be about four minutes long) is the kind of stuff that should be, and once was, shown on PBS. God forbid they show something like this on public television these days! Criticizing King George? Victims of a bumbling government "rescue" actually cursing while trying to verbalize their frustration and fear and anger and all-out hate? PBS can't show this kind of stuff, a three-year-old might see it (at 10 at night). I say it belongs on educational television if only because it taught me some pretty creative curses I had never heard before.
This had to have been Spike Lee's most selfless film ever. Except for the credits and maybe five interview questions that had to be played to put their responses in context (and even then, it's just Spike's voice) there is nothing that makes it obvious that it came from him. Maybe the jazz soundtrack, but that's it.
The movie is driven by the interviewees (victims, officials, local media people). What Spike has done is collect hundreds of stories, many that we have heard parts of here and there, and gotten the perspective of those who were closest to the events. Then he took all of those and put them into a logical order - maybe the first time the whole event was ever laid out so clearly - so that it plays out more like a story than a documentary. It's not a documentarian telling the audience what happened to the people of New Orleans, it's a movie director stepping back and letting the people of New Orleans tell you what happened to them. Big difference between those two perspectives.
Great stuff and, like I said, it was worth watching just to learn some new cusses.
Actually, many of the obscenities in the film come during moments of humor rather than anger, showing that some of these victims are able to see the value of laughter in staying sane during such insane situations. And the government was giving them so much comedic material with which to work.
These lighter moments were just one more thing that made those in the movie more accessible, made you feel like the people of New Orleans aren't just victims to be counted or problems to be dealt with or, worst of all, "refugees" (which was a popular news-channel title for them for a while, as if they were boat-people). These people are just like us, except that the house they lived in their whole life was destroyed and they were given a one-way ticket to Houston and their sister was given a one-way ticket to Utah and their mother well who knows what happened to their mother and while you're at it where is the m-f'ing trailer FEMA promised to bring in six months ago? And when they're not crying they're shaking their heads and laughing about it, because what else can they do?
I'm not sure another director would have left these lighter moments in for fear that they would take away from the seriousness of the message, when in reality they helped the situation seem more real. More tragic, somehow.
I wasn't sure I was going to watch this at all, because Spike Lee can sometimes get a wee bit heavy-handed with his views on injustice in the world. He was wise to apply such a light touch to a story that didn't need much help exposing the injustice, just an effective way to expose it. I think Spike Lee, and HBO, have provided that.
Catch it if you can.
Since I had to leave for San Diego the next morning, I totally forgot to mention the bestest most super awesome gift the missus and the boys got me for my birthday:
I love my family.
Is there any better way to start the day than to hear Ray Charles sing "The Night Time (Is The Right Time)" on your radio?
And is it possible to listen to the song without recreating the old lip-sync scene from the Cosby Show?
Still one of television's greatest moments.
Update: I'm assuming that everybody gets the Pudding Pop reference, but maybe not?
[I just finished up four hours of post-work painting, so the usually paint fumes warning applies to the following post.]
One of the older woman at my work recently got yet another face-lift, and I mentioned to some of the folks in my section that this woman's face has been pulled back so far that it is impossible to get a read on her when she's speaking to you. You're pretty far into a conversation with her before you can determine whether she's satisfied or dissatisfied with your work.
This subject lead to a discussion on actresses who get face-lifts and how their surgeon's face-lift machines seem to only have one setting - extremely taut. Mary Tyler Moore was brought up as an example of a bad face-lift. I hadn't seen a recent photo of MTM, but I couldn't figure out why she even needed one.
I know that there is an unfair Hollywood standard that all but requires older actresses to go under the knife, but I can't believe that the woman who played the liberated Mary Richards would succumb to such sexist demands.
MTM is seventy and, as far as I can tell, hasn't really been a sex symbol since those Mary Tyler Moore Show days. Are producers expecting her to still look young? Are they still hiring her for her looks? I was kind of under the impression that Moore was one of those actresses who had build up respect through her acting talent and the controversial roles she's selected.
Am I being naive - do looks trump everything else, even for seventy-year-olds? Or does this have nothing to do with her career, and was just something she thought would make her look better?
I don't know what the answer is, but by coincidence, she's in the current issue of Newsweek, and the lift is pretty bad. I know I'm babbling here (the fumes, people, the fumes), but it just seems sad that anyone would put themselves through this procedure and think that it makes them look good. I would put it up there with the those guys walking around with the bad toupees thinking they're hot stuff.
Worse than the whole face-lift thing was this Q&A:
What do you watch on TV these days?
A lot of Fox News. I also watch "Two and a Half Men" and "Lost."
"A lot of Fox News." The one-time Mary Richards is now watching "a lot" of a network that features plenty of right-wing talking points (and therefore very little love for women's issues). The woman who once played opposite Ted Knight doesn't seem to see the irony of her getting her news from a bunch of asshats who would make Knight's bumbling news-anchor Ted Baxter look like Walter Conkrite.
Beautiful.
You may or may not notice, but in addition to changing my banner and "about" photo each month, I also try to change the items in my sidebar. I make sure my book and movie lists are up to date, I put a few of the cds that are in my car on there, and I "single out" some of the new songs I can't get out of my head.
One place I keep getting stuck on is "watching," my television show list. I keep wanting to put different shows on there, but the truth is I just don't watch that many shows. I watch some sports (especially during baseball season) and some PBS (or PBS-like) how-to shows. That's pretty much it - no "appointment TV" for me.
Lost and 24? Just pops and buzzes to me. Every week three or four posts about these shows end up on my bloglist and I get no closer to being even the least bit interested in them. I'm not bragging or anything, in fact my lack of interest sometimes worries me. Has the suspense-loving part of my brain died? If so, what's next - the romance-loving part?
I'll let others figure out the answers to those questions (when they're not busy decoding all the secret numbers from Lost, that is). What I wanted to write about is the one show I will be adding to my sidebar (and should have added a couple months ago, actually) - Iron Chef America.
Just as I've somehow avoided the 24 and Lost hype, I was never sucked into the Japanese Iron Chef when it was the hot new thing. I tried watching it, but could never figure out what all the buzz was about. I think for me it was hard to care about anything the chefs were making when so much of it looked inedible.
I admit that I started watching the American version at first simply because Alton Brown emcees the show, but I have become completely hooked on it now. I know the idiosyncrasies of all the Iron Chefs (especially Bobby Flay, whom I've been watching since we first got the Food Network) and most of the judges (especially Vogue's Jeffrey Steingarten, who doesn't seem to care one ounce about the chefs' feelings). While I don't think I've ever come away from an episode thinking I could (or would) make something I saw cooked up during the competition, I often find myself willing to try almost all of the entrees. The only think that really turns me off is the stuff that comes out of the ice cream maker (trout sorbet anyone?).
So look for that change to my television list, but nothing else from Food Network. The "humor" of the new Ham on the Street feels forced (and anyone could have seen that coming before the first episode even aired just from the annoying commercials), Unwrapped seems to be running out of interesting subjects, Rachel Ray is getting more frantic and more depressing to watch, I can't stand that little Nigella Lawson-wannabe Giada DeLaurentiis, I'm getting more than a little tired of all the dessert competitions, and who the hell is Dave Lieberman? All of the sudden this guy is all over Food TV and I have no idea where he came from. Anyone?
Thank God for Alton, that's what I say.
Even though I don't watch too much TV these days (other than sports and America's Test Kitchen), I still seem to filter everything through television moments. An email I got from TypePad (my blog host) the other day got me thinking about two obscure scenes.
I remember an episode of Night Court where Max, the court clerk, and his wife Quon Lee were worrying about the restaurant they had just opened that the new-to-America and naive Quon Lee was running. The restaurant wasn't making any money, they were going broke, and they were discussing how all of their marketing gimmicks were disasters, especially "Make Your Own Change Night." I still think that was the funniest line ever on what was a pretty funny show.
Then there was the episode of Taxi where Reverend Jim accidentally burns down Louie's apartment and Jim's wealthy father offers Louie a blank check for the damages. Louie spends about ten minutes trying to figure out just the exact amount for the check - not too low, but not so high that Jim's dad rescinds his offer. Louie finally settles on about $30,000 (it was something like thirty..... one..... thousand..... four.... no, three........ hundred..... aaaaaaand..... twenty.... thirty, thirty!... six.... dollars.......... and........ EIGHTEEN CENTS!). He's all proud of himself until he finds out that Jim's dad was happy he didn't have to pay out $200,000 like he expected to.
So, anyway, I was thinking about those classic TV moments because TypePad has made an offer to compensate their users for some recent glitches. I've had trouble posting, there's been trouble with visitors leaving comments, and even times when The Long Cut was completely off-line (yeah, I know, that's not always such a bad thing).
So TypePad emails an apology and an offer - 15 free days added on to your service. Or 30 days free if "performance issues made it very difficult" to use their service. Or how about 45 free days free if performance issues made the TypePad service "unacceptable for most of the month." Or, of course, if you weren't affected to the point of frustration you could just say "no thanks" and take no free days. Whatever the choice, it's completely up to the customer.
It's "make your own change night" all over again. Except I feel more like Louie De Palma trying to figure out just what I can get away with. The 15 day offer is the default, and that alone is pretty nice of them. 45 free days would be really cool, but I can't say that service was "unacceptable" to me. As bad as it was it was still better service than Blogger ever provided.
But if they want me to be honest, than I think I should get 30 days free. The performance did make it tough for me to post. I usually get one shot to get a post in and I'm committed to writing something daily. I can't have problems getting into my account at 11:30pm if still haven't put up my new post yet.
So I'm asking for the 30 days. Mac and Quon Lee would be proud of my honesty. Louie De Palma would probably just see me as a sucker.
Update (10:17pm, 11/16/05): I've had to correct "Image Not Available" errors on this post twice already today. This crap keeps up and I will be asking for the 45 day compensation.
Very little time to blog today - went from the farmer's market to baking cookies to the Philadelphia Bloggers meetup and now I'm off to a costume party (and after that we're going to a neighborhood scavenger hunt party - thank God for that extra hour of sleep). I made a last minute decision to give up on my planned costume (a wizard) and go as my hero:
That's This Old House's Norm Abram for those of you who are allergic to home improvement shows. But can you guess which one is the real Norm?
Photo credit: The Missus.
Even if you try to avoid all the Queen-for-a-Day style home improvement shows like I do, you still can’t escape their reach. From the missus' blog (where she professes her devotion to St. Ty of Pennington) to the Today Show (where they have transformed Rockefeller Plaza into “Humanity Plaza,” site of a makeshift modular home factory) to news that the First Lady will appear on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (no doubt trying to reverse all the negative Gulf Coast vibes by flashing her bizarre, Joker-like smile at the downtrodden victims of Katrina).
Long before they sold their soul by giving BushCo yet another unwarranted chance to look good, I was creeped-out by Extreme Makeover. While it’s must-see TV for the missus, I can barely stand even being in the room while it’s on. The missus watches a few shows that I don’t like, but I can usually tune those shows out while with a good book. That's not the case with Extreme Makeover.
The thing is, when the missus asks me why I hate it so much, I have a hard time pinpointing my objections to the show. I’ve brought up the fact that it has a lottery mentality – where all your problems will go away if you just had a big new house. Since many of the families they help out live in economically depressed areas, I think the houses they build are inappropriate for their surroundings. I’m not saying that poor people can’t improve their homes but having a tricked-out mini-mansion show up (free!) in one week can’t be good for neighborhood relations, no matter how many smiling people show up for the unveiling. Also, since it’s often a minority family getting a hand up, I think the all-white cast unintentionally gives the impression that, once again, the white man has to save the day. And man, some of the dialog is so so contrived.
But those are all minor objections when you consider all the good these shows do, right? Well, I don’t think so, but like I said, I can’t figure out how to diagnose my disgust with these shows.
Luckily for me, Paul Brownfield of the LA Times, like Laura Bush after a category 5 political storm, has come to the rescue. His article, “Something Crass Lucks Behind The Do-Gooder Smile” hits the nail on the head (please forgive the pun). The article’s subtitle, “Charity on TV is never just about helping, it’s about being seen helping” covers why otherwise perky people like Katie Couric and Matt Lauer and the First Lady are so intent on getting their fingers dirty, but the article also goes into the whole strange culture of those charity shows.
I suggest you read the whole article, but there are some lines I really liked:
There are any number of complex emotional reactions the receiver of such largesse can have, but "Extreme Makeover" was clear: The camera probed his stoic soldier's gaze for gratitude or some moment of emotional catharsis, waiting for the payoff, until the whole thing became, inevitably, pornographic.
[…]
To be sure, the subjects are willing, even vying, to be on these shows, but there's still an unsettling transaction taking place: Make your private pain public, act it out for us, let us set it to music, and let us appear to have grown from our proximity to you. And in exchange we will give you a new house and a ride in a stretch limo and who knows what else — all the goodies that will inevitably, by their very goodi-ness, fix your problems. Oh, but we're only here for a week.
[…]
"Stop looking at your stuff for two seconds," Couric said at one point, trying to direct her back to center stage. She wanted little Jada to dance again.
[…]
The Bushes have visited Louisiana and Mississippi multiple times without creating a convincing narrative about their compassion. So Mrs. Bush is resorting to a surer thing, guesting on a series where the compassion, if it doesn't come across live, can be cobbled together in the editing room.
And, since I advertise myself as being self-righteous, I dig the article’s end:
"But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret," goes the Gospel of Matthew. Failing this, goes the gospel according to TV giving, put both hands together and give yourself a round of applause.
I have a feeling that this post isn’t going to put me in the missus’ good graces. Think Ty will come over and build a doghouse for me?
[Photo: Morry Gash / AP]
Relax, this isn’t another long boring post about running.
No, this is about one of the most eagerly anticipated events in the history of television (at least television at our house) - the first family-based Amazing Race. If you don’t know what AR is, than you’re probably one of those people who think all reality shows are all the same, but here you would be wrong.
Where most other reality shows are numbingly dull 90% of the time (I’m looking at you Survivor), AR benefits from its frantic globetrotting pace and uses it to its storytelling advantage; so much going on that there’s little need for the producers to manufacture drama. Past seasons have also been relatively family-friendly (some minor cursing but very little viciousness), and I would assume that this season’s family-based challenge would be even more squeaky-clean. The show does, however, still air at the family-unfriendly 9:00 pm.
Going into a new AR season, I like to make completely uneducated and pathetically stereotyped opinions of the teams - and this season is no different. CBS foolishly goes the flash route with the AR website, so I can’t link to any of the team bios. You’ll just have to go there yourself to see them.
On to the families:
Goghan – The nine-year old daughter is the youngest Racer and has been featured on the AR commercial. She’s pretty cute in the ad and yet I still like her. Huh. Her parents are marathon runners, so that gets me on their side.
Schroeder – Could be the sentimental favorites since they come from New Orleans (though I think the AR taping was over by the time Katrina came along). According to the bio, the father admits he is arrogant. I hate arrogant fathers - just ask my kids, the dimwitted little pipsqueaks will tell you I’m not lying.
Aiello – I have to say, I was a little afraid when I saw the Aiello name, but this one seems interesting – a dad and his three sons-in-law. (Impressed that I didn't write son-in-laws?)
Rogers – A traditional family, if your idea of a traditional family includes a mom who works as a beauty pageant trainer and a daughter who was once Miss Louisiana. [You know, I once dated Miss Georgia. Well, she was a former Miss Georgia. Okay, it was George Foreman, but still. (Joke used completely without Garry Shandling’s permission).]
Black – The Black family really is “the black family.” The whole family competes in Tae Kwo Do, which should get my eight-year-old on their side, and both parents are teachers, which will probably make the missus a fan.
Weaver – Widow-led family whose husband/father recently died in “an accident at Daytona International Speedway.” Wha? Was he racing or was he hit be a tire or what? I predict a lot of emotions. Especially when anyone mentions "pit stops."
Linz – Three brothers and a “feisty” sister. Oy. Two of the siblings attend Miami University of Ohio, a school a friend of mine used to root for simply because it forced sportscasters to also have to say “University of Miami, Florida.” Yeah, I have some strange friends.
Bransen – a CEO father and three of his daughters. The sisters once starred in a Pert shampoo commercial together “several years ago.” From their bottle-blonde hair, it seems like they’ve moved down the hair care aisle a bit.
Paolo – Straight from the bio: “The bickering is constant for these lovable New Yorkers.”
Oy.Okay, I’ve already used “oy,” and their Italian anyway, so how about Momma Mia?Godlewski – Four sisters who were also featured in the AR commercial. I like to call these gals the 4 Non-Non-Blondes. I’m predicting catfights galore. Raarrrrr.
My early loyalties are with the Blacks and the two families from the AR commercial – the Goghans and the Godlewskis. If past performance means anything, my endorsement of these families means they’re doomed for certain.
Looking down the sidebar at the ESPN.com homepage, past all the major sports links, past the link to their poker coverage (which must make the rodeo cowboys and bass fisherman listed below it feel real good), I noticed that ESPN now has an ombudsman, Washington Post sports editor George Solomon.
In addition to the fact that ombudsman is right up there with tutelage as far as cool words go, I like the idea of someone representing the media customer - as long as it's not if it's done as some phony feel-good move. The Philadelphia Inquirer dropped their ombudsman a year or two ago, and while his column made some good points (both criticizing and defending the Inky's actions), I never got the idea that it was making a difference in the quality of the paper.
ESPN isn't your typical news outlet, and sports reporting is still more about entertainment than news, so it seems pretty revolutionary for them to openly police themselves this way. As much as I enjoy most of what's on ESPN, they do make mistakes (like rehiring Jim Rome) and could be improved (I'll give you poker as a sport if you just stop showing "competitive eating" events. I'd even be happy with just a few less "Boo-yahs" from Stuart Scott.).
It will be interesting to see if ESPN gives their ombudsman more respect than his lowly spot on their sidebar would imply. Solomon's only written one post since being introduced on July 6, and that was pretty much used to introduce himself. But ESPN promises at least a column a month from him, to be linked from their home page.
Hopefully it will be interesting reading. It's definitely an interesting idea.
Photo: ESPN.com
1. I find it funny that on the cover of its "Best Places to Live" issue, Philadelphia Magazine puts a McMansion so lacking of any homeyness that I would never want to live in it. Unless, of course, someone wanted to buy it for me. I'd be cool with that (then I could just turn around and sell it).
2. Even Michael Jackson says, "that's just too weird": State teacher commission probes wound-licking practice by coach. (Via The Morning News.)
3. While I'm nowhere near being on pace to finish my 52 new (to me) films in 2005, I am glad that we used a valuable spot on our Blockbuster-by-Mail queue for a Pee-Wee's Playhouse DVD. You know, for the kids. These shows were jam-packed with both creativity and brilliant humor. The kind of humor that kids laugh at even as it goes right over their heads. You don't get much of that on Dora the Explorer. And the show is completely timeless, other than the Jheri-Curl on Cowboy Curtis (Laurence "Larry" Fishburn). We had to quickly change the subject when the seven-year old asked why the show isn't on the air anymore, but other than that the show has proven itself as one of the rare shows that the whole family can happily watch together. We already own Pee-Wee's Playhouse Christmas Special, and I have a funny feeling that the Easter Bunny might already know about the kids' love of all things Pee-Wee.
4. After reading the first chapter, I've decided order the book I posted about yesterday, Jason Headley's Small Town Odds. While I wouldn't compare it to Richard Russo's work just yet, it's a good enough story to give it a chance.
5. If you haven't looked at my sidebar lately you might not have noticed that I added my Amazon Wish List (or maybe you did and you've just chosen to ignore it). I've also added a photo album with my pictures from the October Kerry Rally. I dig how TypePad organizes their photo albums.
Update: I had to go back into this post to fix a typo, so I'll add one more thing while I'm here:
6. "tom petty in pink underware" - Someone got directed to my blog today by typing that into Google. Serves me right for for checking my StatCounter. I mean, sure, I have the picture they're looking for, but I'm not going to actually publish it. I'd have to take it down from over the living room fireplace and scan it.
I'm kidding, of course. We don't have a fireplace.
One of my new favorite shows is HGTV’s Designed To Sell, where they have a real estate expert go through a house that won’t sell and point out what can be changed to make it more attractive to buyers. Then designers come in and have a week and $2000 to fix it up. As the real estate expert does her walk-through the owners watch remotely from a neighbor’s house and always seem upset that she thinks that they should do little things like removing that corpse in the dinning room. Geez-zoo, we’ve been meaning to do that.
Anyway, I mentally went through our house and made a list of all the things that should be done to make it more sellable (not that we’re selling, but it’s not a bad way of thinking). If we were to be featured on Designed To Sell, it would have to be two-hour special edition.
Basement:
Finish trim and floor tiles. A couple of years ago I turned about half the basement into a family room, and stopped with about 3% of the project undone.
Repair hole in wall. Caused by the missus falling out of chair due to unfinished floor tiling.
Move phone jack. Our cordless phone was interfering with our DSL, so we had to move the base into a closet. I need to move the jack in there too.
Cover electrical box. The box is in the finished part of the basement and looks awful. I’m afraid that we’ve gotten used to seeing it.
Paint stairwell. Moisture is making one wall in the unfinished area peel like crazy.
Kitchen:New microwave. The turntable no longer turns. Done.New dishwasher. We went with the cheapest model when we first moved in, and it never worked well. A source of constant frustration for me. Purchased, needs to be installed.
Ceiling fan / additional lighting. Our ceiling fan is ugly and sad, and the room needs a lot more task lighting.
Flooring. Really should do something about the dingy vinyl flooring. The floor is already a good half-inch above the other rooms so, short of ripping out the layers of old flooring, I’m not sure what to do.
Storage. Whoever designed our kitchen seemed to either really like blank walls or really hate cabinets.
Fix junk drawer. Apparently there is a limit to how much you can shove into a junk drawer.
Mud Room:
Replace flooring. I bought a roll of flooring a few years ago, never got around to laying it.
Replace door. Our mud room was added on by some misguided owner and has an odd sized doorway that makes replacing the old weather-beaten door complicated.
Paint. Most of the room is either windows or the door, so this shouldn’t take long. It’s just that the recyclables that we store in there haven’t been complaining about it too much.
Dining Room:
Remove wallpaper. If I just wait a little while longer the wallpaper will finish peeling off by itself.
Paint. Already got the paint (leftover from another project), just got to get around to it. Number one on the missus' list.
Living Room:
Nothing! Can this be right?
Playroom:
Replace rug. The rug looks like it was taken out of a Jiffy Lube waiting room.
Paint. The walls are all a fishing cabin-like paneling.
Foyer/Stairs:
Paint. Our stairway looks like a finger-painting exhibition.
Upstairs Hall:
Replace attic access. So that someone other than me can close it.
Replace bathroom pipe access panel. For some unknown reason, the previous owners thought it would be a good idea to make this stand out.
Replace light. So the attic access door no longer comes thisclose to it.
Master Bedroom:
Replace rug. The room looks great since we painted, except for the girly (and grimy) pink rug.Replace fan. After thirteen months, our “new” fan doesn’t always want to work. Replaced.
Middle Bedroom:
Paint closet. Doesn't seem like a big deal, but it has a big water stain from an old leak.
Back Bedroom:
Fix radiator. It has a slight leak that has been dripping onto the dining room ceiling.
Paint. It seems like we just painted this, but it’s getting dingy and is a little too childish for the seven-year-old.
Porch:
Paint floor. Never fun.
New storm door. As nice as our big front door looks, it has a dirty old ugly storm door covering it. Of course, it’s an oversized opening and needs a custom (read: $$$$) door.
Well, all this shouldn't take more than a decade or so to complete.
I also need to get in touch with the former owners of the house to find out who installed the roof. It lost some shingles recently and is causing rain to leak into the back bedroom. According to our home sale files it’s less than ten years old and I assume should still be under warranty. I need to do this soon, but the former owners weren’t the easiest people to deal with. I have to find a way to ask for the information in a way that will get them to cooperate.
Update (12:58 PM): Despite what it sounds like, we really don't live in a hellhole. Really.
Oh! My! God!
The New Yankee Workshop has a Web Cam!
(So much better than the This Old House Web Cam.)
I forgot to mention the best thing about being home with the seven-year-old on Monday - TBS is now airing reruns of the late, great Ed. Unfortunately they're only playing it at noon on weekdays.
Playing them during primetime would apparently interfere with their nightly showing of The Shawshank Redemption.
These two must be stopped. And don't try to defend Victoria as less annoying than Jonathan, she was dumb enough to marry him so she's just as bad as him. I still haven't decided who's bio is more laughable - Jonathan calling himself an "entrepreneur" or Victoria calling herself a "pop artist painter / model." I can't help but think that they're destined to end up in the final four. Ugh.
And I was so perfect for that IKEA furniture-building challenge! The missus' Amazing Race thoughts are here.
Alan J. Heavens, perhaps the only person who cares about This Old House as much as I do, had a column in Sunday’s Philadelphia Inquirer about one-time TOH host Bob Vila. In between remarkable articles on home ownership, home repair and tools, Heavens will sometimes slip in a piece about the state of home repair shows. Earlier this year he had an article about the 25th season of TOH. He has been just as disappointed in what TOH has become as I have, but he saw promise in this season’s house and was willing to give them another chance. I have tuned in a bit, but I still hate the fact that they are building yet another 5000-square-foot mansion.
After his ten years with TOH, Vila created (along with his sponsor Sears) Home Again, which he has hosted for the fifteen years since he left TOH. Home Again is done in the style of the old TOH that I enjoyed long ago, though with less-knowledgeable Bob Riley filling in at carpenter for Godlike Super-Genius (and I say that with absolutely no sarcasm – just ask the missus) Norm Abram.
The only other downside to Home Again is Vila’s enormous ego. While TOH often allows host Kevin O’Connor’s sidekicks to handle a scene by themselves, Bob is always on the screen during Home Again. But where O’Connor was a VP at Fleet Bank before joining TOH, Vila’s been doing this his whole life and obviously knows his stuff. Vila’s ego, along with his insistence on being allowed to shill for Sears on his own time, seems to have been the cause of the split between him and PBS. Nonetheless, the projects that Vila now works on are interesting and informative enough to allow looking past his personality flaws. TOH has better personalities, but their projects are geared towards those in the market for million dollar homes.
Rather than use his column to critique Home Again, the Inky’s Heavens lets Vila give his opinion of TOH and the other home improvement shows that litter the airwaves. Though the erstwhile TOH host claims that he doesn’t like to criticize his old show, it’s obvious that he does not like what it has become. He says that after he left, “the show became scripted, like a sitcom.” I totally agree with him here, especially with the TOH spin-off, Ask This Old House. Ask TOH deals with the kind of projects that Vila has always done, but the scripted banter between O’Connor and his co-hosts is cringe-worthy to the point of being unwatchable.
Vila saves most of his venom for the newer “home improvement” (if you can call it that) shows that he sees as more entertainment than information; those with carpenters who are celebrities first and craftsmen second, or shows that are just updates of Queen for a Day (ironically, Extreme Makeover Home Edition host/carpenter Ty Pennington is also a Sears spokesman). Like me, Vila wonders how sturdy the results are when the workers rush through them to meet some arbitrary deadline. (I've always wondered how these shows get their permits so fast).
Obviously this is a subject near and dear to my heart and I wish I could catch Vila’s Home Again more often, but it airs at 4 a.m. here in Philly. I’ve been stuck watching it whenever I happen to catch a rerun on cable, but I think I will start taping it so I can watch it once the weather turns frigid and I start running on the treadmill again.
Just like I use to do with This Old House.
Peanut's Linus is such an obvious self-rightous bleeding-heart liberal that he could be the patron saint of the Accidental Blogist. Since we're going over the river and through the woods (well, lower Bucks County) I'll hand my Thanksgiving post over to him:
"In the year 1621, the Pilgrims had their first Thanksgiving feast. They invited the great Indian Chief Massasoit, who brought ninety of his brave Indians and a great abundance of food. Governor William Bradford and Captian Miles Standish were honored quests. Elder William Brewster, who was a minister, said a prayer that went something like this: We thank God for our homes and our food and our safety in a new land. We thank God for the opportunity to create a new world for freedom and justice!"
Amen. Let's Eat!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Think of all the dumb things I write about. Now think of all the dumb things that I don't write about. Where do they go?
Throughout the week I bookmark interesting items that I might want to write about. At the end of the week I end up with the leftovers. Not substantial enough for its own post, too good (at least at one time) to let go. Here goes this week's:
1. Food Network keeps airing All Star Thanksgiving and I keep missing it. It's on this Saturday and again Sunday, both at 4:00pm. What's so special about it? Picture all the Food Network cooks together in one room. Rachael Ray. Emeril Lagasse. Alton Brown (pictured above). Sara Moulton. Tyler Florence. Paula Deen. I'm not crazy about most of these guys (except Alton and Rachael and maybe Tyler) but it's worth watching just to see the vibe between Alton and Emeril. Until they have a steel-cage fight between these two, this will have to do.
2. Congrats to Mark Winegardner who, after winning a contest, has written the first post-Mario Puzo Godfather sequel. Winegardner is the author of one of my favorite novels, Crooked River Burning. Here's hoping he doesn't get pigeon-holed into writing just Godfather books or get his kneecaps broken by angry Puzo fans. I'm hoping readers use the Godfather Returns as an entry point to all of Winegardner's writing.
3. I hope everyone noticed my new improved header banner and revised and detailed list of sites I hit ("Hitting..." on the sidebar).
4. And lastly, from McSweeney's, Cruel Nicknames for Overweight Vampires:
Snackula
Undead Weight
Count Chocoholic
Vampire the Buffet Slayer
Cholesteratu
The Vampurgler
The Vampire Lestop For Some Tacos
Vlad the Inhaler
Child Of Candy Cain
Quiche Lilith
Ghoulash
Queen of the Hammed
Taco Bela
Bela Obesi
Transylvania 6-5000 Calories
Dick Cheney
Das Vhoppyr
Have a great weekend!
Today is a big day at our house. Tonight at 9:00 the Amazing Race returns.
While the missus, my 7-year-old son, and I only really started watching this show last season, it's quickly become a favorite. It’s cool that we can include our son in this almost-completely-swear-free show. That's not a common reality show trait, but neither are non-stop action and a lack of whining, both of which AR offers. I truly think that the superior AR has soured me on ever watching the whiny Survivor again (unless, of course, they have another All-Star version, I'm a sucker for those).
The only bad thing about AR’s ratings success last season is that it won’t be repeated on Saturdays at 8:00 anymore. That means that we’ll have tape it so my son can catch it.
I tried coming up with some pre-show favorites, just from the CBS bios. Here are the couples I have to choose from:
The Formerly-Dating Couple, both of them personal trainers.
The High School Buddies, Brooklyn-born, now-bicoastal.
The Old Couple.
The Engaged Models.
The Dating Actors (although really it’s just another couple of dating models).
The Father-Daughter Team, him a former CIA agent, her a special-ed teacher.
The Married Entrepreneurs who fight all the time.
The Long Distance Dating Couple. She’s a former go-go dancer who’s now studying Geography, my kind of dame.
The Mormon Sisters. One is a single mom; the other is a former striptease aerobics instructor who is returning to college after the Race. I’ll hold judgment until I find out whether or not her major is Geography.
The Married Professional Wrestlers. I don’t like them already.
The Roommates and Best Friends. From NYC.
I’m leaning towards either the Roommates or the Father-Daughter Team (pictured above) before tonight’s show. I have a better grasp on who I think I won’t like: the High School Buddies (Mets fans), the Old Couple (why get attached to them? Chances are: a. they’re extremely nice and b. they’ll be gone once the stupid people are eliminated), the Dating Models/Actors (if they’re anything like last season’s models), and the ‘Rasslers.
Of course, all of that could change after I watch the first episode. Well, everything but the part about the ‘Rasslers. I’m pretty sure of that one.
I haven't been watching Dream Job, but I did remember to check in on Brian Startare on ESPN's website. I'm sorry to report that the fellow Rowan grad has been called into the coach's office. On Tuesday night's show the contestants were confronted with a "faulty" Teleprompter and were forced to wing it. From the deer-in-the-headlights picture above, I'm guessing Brian wasn't that quick on his feet. He did so bad that one of the judges thought the prompter went off before it actually did!
Oh well, Brian. At least you'll be home in time for homecoming. Go Profs!
I have taken Survivor: Vanuatu and Dream Job 2 off my sidebar "Watching..." list. Turns out I wasn't. I kept forgetting about Survivor, but that might change as the field of players gets whittled down. That's happened before.
Dream Job has been moved to "it's new time" (as the announcer tries to make it sound like it's a great time slot) - Midnight Tuesday. Forget that. I actually had a chance to get tickets to a taping of the show, but they tape in Midtown Manhattan, not Bristol. I didn't feel like going to some nameless sound stage in NYC. Bristol would have been cool. I will keep checking on the ESPN website to see how Rowan grad Brian Startare does.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out what I do watch. Not much, appearently. At least nothing worth owning up to. House Hunters? Roker on the Road? Ehh.
Tonight at 7:00 is the premiere of season two of ESPN's Dream Job. Last winter this was on late Sunday nights, so I would tape it and watch it while running on the treadmill Monday mornings. 7:00 Tuesday night is much better, although it will mean missing Good Eats once a week. My two-year-old son, a big Alton Brown fan, isn't going to like that.
It's easy to pick who to root for: Follow Rowan grad Brian Startare. I'm not crazy about his three things he would take on a desert island:
1. a "bottomless keg"
DUDE!
2. Heather Locklear
How old are you, Dude? She's like 60.
3. a volleyball - a la "Wilson" from Castaway
Dude, Tom Hanks prefers that you forget that movie.
But he is a Prof, so I'll stick with him. Plus there aren't any cute girls in it this time. Stuart Scott comes back as host, continuing his hiatus from SportsCenter until he comes up with something - anything! - to replace Boo-Ya. ESPN Talent VP Al Jaffe and perky Cold Pizza host Kit Hoover return as judges. The other two judges, replacing Washington Redskin LaVar Arrington and Pardon the Interruption's Tony Kornheiser, are the Philadelphia Inquirer's Stephen A. Smith and the Denver Post's Woody Paige, two guys who shout anytime they have a camera in front of them. If I stop watching Dream Job, it'll be because of these two chowderheads.
I just saw the new HP commercial that uses the Kink's "Picture Book" as the soundtrack. I have mixed feelings about this. I never like seeing cool songs in commercials (perhaps the worst being "All Day and All of the Night" for Jolly Rancher) and I love "Picture Book". But it's not like I ever hear the song on the radio, so at least I get to hear it. And I'd rather have a cool Kinks song than another commercial with a Moby soundtrack.
It will all be worth it if it helps turn people on to the songwriting genius of Ray Davies.
Survivor 9 "Vanuatu - Islands of Fire" has posted contestant bios. My first-glance favorite: Sheep Farmer Dolly Neely, whose favorite magazines are National Rifleman, People, and Deer & Deer Hunting. No Joke.
