Honey Don't

One of my new favorite shows is HGTV’s Designed To Sell, where they have a real estate expert go through a house that won’t sell and point out what can be changed to make it more attractive to buyers. Then designers come in and have a week and $2000 to fix it up. As the real estate expert does her walk-through the owners watch remotely from a neighbor’s house and always seem upset that she thinks that they should do little things like removing that corpse in the dinning room. Geez-zoo, we’ve been meaning to do that.

Anyway, I mentally went through our house and made a list of all the things that should be done to make it more sellable (not that we’re selling, but it’s not a bad way of thinking). If we were to be featured on Designed To Sell, it would have to be two-hour special edition.

Basement:
Finish trim and floor tiles. A couple of years ago I turned about half the basement into a family room, and stopped with about 3% of the project undone.
Repair hole in wall. Caused by the missus falling out of chair due to unfinished floor tiling.
Move phone jack. Our cordless phone was interfering with our DSL, so we had to move the base into a closet. I need to move the jack in there too.
Cover electrical box. The box is in the finished part of the basement and looks awful. I’m afraid that we’ve gotten used to seeing it.
Paint stairwell. Moisture is making one wall in the unfinished area peel like crazy.

Kitchen:
New microwave. The turntable no longer turns. Done.
New dishwasher. We went with the cheapest model when we first moved in, and it never worked well. A source of constant frustration for me. Purchased, needs to be installed.
Ceiling fan / additional lighting. Our ceiling fan is ugly and sad, and the room needs a lot more task lighting.
Flooring. Really should do something about the dingy vinyl flooring. The floor is already a good half-inch above the other rooms so, short of ripping out the layers of old flooring, I’m not sure what to do.
Storage. Whoever designed our kitchen seemed to either really like blank walls or really hate cabinets.
Fix junk drawer. Apparently there is a limit to how much you can shove into a junk drawer.

Mud Room:
Replace flooring. I bought a roll of flooring a few years ago, never got around to laying it.
Replace door. Our mud room was added on by some misguided owner and has an odd sized doorway that makes replacing the old weather-beaten door complicated.
Paint. Most of the room is either windows or the door, so this shouldn’t take long. It’s just that the recyclables that we store in there haven’t been complaining about it too much.

Dining Room:
Remove wallpaper. If I just wait a little while longer the wallpaper will finish peeling off by itself.
Paint. Already got the paint (leftover from another project), just got to get around to it. Number one on the missus' list.

Living Room:
Nothing! Can this be right?

Playroom:
Replace rug. The rug looks like it was taken out of a Jiffy Lube waiting room.
Paint. The walls are all a fishing cabin-like paneling.

Foyer/Stairs:
Paint. Our stairway looks like a finger-painting exhibition.

Upstairs Hall:
Replace attic access. So that someone other than me can close it.
Replace bathroom pipe access panel. For some unknown reason, the previous owners thought it would be a good idea to make this stand out.
Replace light. So the attic access door no longer comes thisclose to it.

Master Bedroom:
Replace rug. The room looks great since we painted, except for the girly (and grimy) pink rug.
Replace fan. After thirteen months, our “new” fan doesn’t always want to work. Replaced.

Middle Bedroom:
Paint closet. Doesn't seem like a big deal, but it has a big water stain from an old leak.

Back Bedroom:
Fix radiator. It has a slight leak that has been dripping onto the dining room ceiling.
Paint. It seems like we just painted this, but it’s getting dingy and is a little too childish for the seven-year-old.

Porch:
Paint floor. Never fun.
New storm door. As nice as our big front door looks, it has a dirty old ugly storm door covering it. Of course, it’s an oversized opening and needs a custom (read: $$$$) door.

Well, all this shouldn't take more than a decade or so to complete.

I also need to get in touch with the former owners of the house to find out who installed the roof. It lost some shingles recently and is causing rain to leak into the back bedroom. According to our home sale files it’s less than ten years old and I assume should still be under warranty. I need to do this soon, but the former owners weren’t the easiest people to deal with. I have to find a way to ask for the information in a way that will get them to cooperate.

Update (12:58 PM): Despite what it sounds like, we really don't live in a hellhole. Really.

Comments

[Dee]

Our dirty and nasty stairwell is #1!