In-line Outline

I. Son

A. eight years old

B. wants Heelys

1. expensive

a. high cost

b. quickly grow out of

2. dangerous

a. bumps in sidewalks

b. steps

c. unnoticed Mack trucks

3. fad

a. all friends have them

b. only kid on earth without them

c. Son's parents are lame

C. birthday approaching

1. Son expects gift from parents

2. gift must not suck

3. gift must not maim

D. not very coordinated

1. falls down

2. a lot

E. very persistent

1. never stops noticing other kids' Heelys

2. never stops pointing out other kids' Heelys

3. never stops talking about Heelys

II. Odds of Heelys purchase

A. nil

B. nada

C. zilch

D. zip

III. Alternatives

A. unrelenting whining

B. in-line skates

1. cheaper

a. $20 less

b. adjusts to growing feet

2. more likely to be worn with helmet/pads

3. teaches coordination?

4. somewhat cool

a. x-games have them

b. not roller skates

IV. Actions

A. in-line skates purchased

1. Boy happy

2. Boy determined to learn

3. Boy not doing too bad for first day

4. Boy still thinks he has chance at Heelys

B. Parents' logic questioned

1. Boy just as likely to break something

2. Boy requires constant supervision

3. Boy still thinks he has chance at Heelys

V. Immediate analysis

A. Parents' competence questioned

B. Boy's happiness indisputable

C. Parents coolness overstated

Comments

[Donna]

If I changed son to daughter and went up a year in age, this could be me writing about Jessica!! She started the Heelys yearnings last spring, escalated at Christmas and went into full blown obsession for her birthday. I'm sure she was positive that SOMEBODY would buy them for her. She still points them out pretty much daily. Did you realize that she is the one and only child in the entire school without them? She insists its true.
We got her the inline skates, but she returned them for a Razor scooter. Thankfully, she LOVES her skooter.
I see the inside of the ER enough, the nurse who first saw Jess when she got stitches told her that Heelys and trampolines are the two most dangerous play things. Impressed me. Jess? Not so much.
Can you imagine our lives when these kids want CARS?? oy!

[Kelly]

Very funny.

Hope he loves the skates.

We had a similar phase wherein our four year old was eying the neighbor's scooter and we went for the bike instead.

And, sadly, never heard of Heelys before. Guess we're REALLY lame.

[terry]

Buy the Heelys, when he falls and brokes something, you can say "I told you so".Don't pass up a chance to teach the boys a lesson.

[yoko]

I saw a kid in my neighborhood who had them. I want a pair for myself!

[Janie]

My kid had the first incarnation of them (sneakers w/four retractable wheels). Boy should learn to kiss up to Aunt Janie.

[Mark]

Donna - Where do rollerblades rank in the emergency room?

Kelly - You'll here of Heelys soon enough.

Terry - You've lost any chance of that "Aunt of the Year" award.

Yoko - Not you, too!

Janie - The new frontrunner for "Aunt of the Year."

[Donna]

Aunt Janie is a suck up.

[Janie]

Whatever works... I'm not too proud...