You Write Like A Girl

In writing this blog for nearly three(!) years now, I've always hoped that I've come across as more Sensitive New Age Guy than Girly-Man, but I've found that there's a very fine line separating the two. There's writing about how much you enjoy coaching your sons, and than there's writing about your man-crush on Paul Newman.

So you can imagine just how happy I was to come across the Gender Genie. You put in the text of a post and it spits out whether it thinks a male or female wrote it. Of course, I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality that I don't need to try foolish gimmicks like this, so let's get right to it:

How about one of those manly beer reviews? Here's a sample of the test post:

...Also, I'm not sure what the weather is like during Cherry Blossom time in Japan - and I'm not real sure what a "spring ale" is supposed to be like - but the Hanami Ale struck me as something more appropriate for summer than spring. It's got a little more alcohol than the summer brews usually have but it still seemed light enough (and slight enough) to down after some grass cutting. I'm guessing that by the time the lawn mower's been tuned-up (which it really should have been by now) this stuff will no long be on the shelves. Then again, with so many good summer ales out there already, I'm not sure I would have picked it up anyway...

And the Genie says:

Ha, heh. Ah, I know, the sample post wasn't long enough to get a accurate reading. And it was about a fruit beer, for chrissakes. Let's try one of my concert posts, they're always way too long:

...It seems like I've been waiting forever for their first album to be released (now expected in May), but I've had a few of their mp3s for a while now and they've been streaming their album on their website since Christmas-time, and I can not imagine these guys (and gal) not making it big. They write great songs full of catchy hooks that just transcend anything else that's out right now. And now I know that they're also great live...

Genie sez:

Oh, my. Hmm... Pain! Sensitive men write about pain. Here's one of my many posts where I complain about face with courage my dental woes:

...A few weeks later you come back for your first fitting. It's a lot like buying a custom-made suit, except that it includes one-two-three-four-five-six six! shots again. And you don't go home with a new suit. You go home with the same temporary bridge you had before, cemented in, again, temporarily. Very temporarily...

And (pleasegodpleasegodpleasegod) the Genie thinks:

Screw it. So I'm not Hemingway. I don't have time for this crap anyway. I'm pretty sure I'm missing an airing of Message in a Bottle on the Lifetime Channel.

Damn, that Paul Newman's one good-looking guy.

Comments

[TwoBusy]

If it's any comfort, I tried out a paragraph about getting an electrical shock while trying to grab TheWife's chest... and scored almost 3-1 as female.

Make of that what you will.

[Janie]

That may just be your funniest post since the childhood baseball debacle story.