The Long Cut ...we'll get there eventually

Now If We Could Just Figure Out A Way To Broadcast What The Bricks At The Ballpark Are Saying, That Would Be Awesome

When we took our Easter trip down to DC last month, we booked our room using Hotwire.com. For some reason, Hotwire gives you three free one-year magazine subscriptions with your order. I got to choose from about ten magazines, but most were Maxim-like rags which, even if the missus would allow them into the house, I really don't have any interest in looking at them. [Honest!]

So I picked Sporting News, which is a weekly that I remember being a pretty good tabloid when I last read it a few years ago. I also picked Outside which has some very good writing but the subjects are way too intense for me (mountain-climbing, shark-fishing, mountain-climbing with sharks - tough stuff). The last magazine was either Men's Health or Men's Fitness, but I haven't received an issue yet so I can't tell you which one it was just yet.

The Sporting News has been a real disappointment. They've gone from newsprint to a chintzy glossy-junk-mail-rag low-quality paper. And the layout seems to be designed for those with extremely short attention spans. Very short articles, side-boxes everywhere, plenty of quotes in large font. Just way too many gimmicks - reminds me a lot of my son's Nickelodeon magazine.

The writing's not much better - some interesting stats and sports gossip, some analysis, and some opinion, but nothing goes long enough to get really in-depth. It's like reading the back of a cereal box.

So, anyway, two items that were in this week's issue were about two baseball ideas that I totally disagree with. The first concerns umpires:

MLB officials took note of a recent NBA playoff game in which referee Dan Crawford explained a controversial call to a national television audience. MLB wants to bring fans closer to the players by miking them during games, and it wants to do the same with umpires. It could be an uphill battle: Reporters sometimes must scramble to get umps to explain disputed calls, even after postseason games. [emphasis mine]

No, no, no, no. No. Do not make baseball umpires into bigger sports personalities than they already think they are. After umping a few little league games I have a lot more respect for these umps, but I have always felt that the fans shouldn't even know their names and I still feel that way. They should be faceless, ego-less, and practically invisible - like they are in the other major sports - not bumping into managers and each having their own unique strike zone.

If they feel the need to defend or apologize for a call, let the league issue a statement the next morning like they do in football. I will never understand why baseball treats their officials differently than the other sports do - they get away with way too much and they already believe that they are equal partners with the players on the field. They shouldn't be, and miking them will only make things worse.

Item two is about the architecture for the new ballpark in DC:

The much-debated and often-delayed stadium still is scheduled to open for the 2008 season near the west bank of the Anacostia River. It will be located in a rundown part of Washington about a mile south of the Capitol. A ceremonial groundbreaking for the $600 million-plus project was held last week. The yet-to-be-named park is expected to seat 41,000 and, based on design plans by HOK Sport, will be a modern-looking complex featuring massive glass panels, steel and concrete. The new ownership group already has said it plans to tweak the design. [emphasis mine]

Good for them for making the ballpark close to downtown while still giving a rundown neighborhood a chance to benefit from it's business. What I'm worried about is that their "tweaking" of the architect's modern-looking plans will turn it into just another old-timey-looking brick ballpark.

It makes no sense to continue building Camden Yards look-alikes since pretty much everyone has visited one of these throwbacks by now (most of which, like Camden Yards, were designed by HOK Sport). They don't hold the "destination" draw that they once did because they have become so commonplace.

I was probably the only local who felt that the Phillies should have gone with a modernistic ballpark back when they were designing Citizens Bank Park a few years ago. But it takes guts to go against the grain, and even though even HOK Sports seems to have noticed that there is a need for change, something tells me the owners down in Washington are going to go with the safer bet. Just don't expect me to go down there to check it out when I've already got the same thing in my own backyard (well, not in my actual backyard, but you know what I mean).

What Hath The Pennsylvania Gaming Control Board Wrought?

Seeing this image almost caused me to bring up everything I ate today (the Total cereal, the lite Silk soy milk, the Starbucks Cafe Estima Blend grande, the Trader Joe's maple pecan clusters, the Yoplait 99% fat free original blueberry yogurt, the mixed fruit in cherry gel cup, the apple, the Nature Valley peanut butter granola bar, the turkey & cheese sandwich, the baby carrots, the Edy's fudge sundae light ice cream, the sunflower seeds and the Propel).

And slots parlors improve the city how?

[Click image to enlarge...if you dare!]

[Story here.]

Turner Architecture Classics

Years ago Ted Turner created an uproar with his plan to "colorize" a bunch of classic movies  - so much so that he eventually backed off, and by 1994 he was promising "uninterrupted, uncolorized and commercial-free" movies on his then-new Turner Movie Classics.

And yet, here in Philly we're using fancy (and expensive) lighting systems to colorize a whole building. And it's not just any building, it's City Hall. Uggggh.

I was all set to go off on a big screed about this travesty, but Scott beat me to it - and he's actually seen it in person. Go get his take on it (and see his pictures from the scene of the crime) and know that I am in complete agreement with him (except I wouldn't have called Mona Lisa a whore).

And if you still want more outrage, go back in time and read my thoughts on the colorization of Philly's Boathouse Row.

Oh, and hey, the Cira Centre - Philly's newest skyscraper - apparently can also do neato stuff with its lights. Cool! Wow! Awesome!

For the love of God, enough with the colored lights.

Light Reading

[Note: since the Philadelphia Inquirer now charges for their old articles, Inquirer links in this post will send you to the cached Google page of that article.]

Back in January, when Philadelphia Inquirer architecture critic Inga Saffron wrote a wishy-washy front-page article about plans to replace the old-fashioned incandescent lightbulbs on Boathouse Row with state-of-the-art (and quite possibly ugly) LED lighting, I wrote a post criticizing her for not having a stronger opinion about the proposed change to one of Philly's better-known landmarks.

Saffron, whose work I usually enjoy and whose opinion of architectural changes in the city is rarely so weak, in this case pretty much had decided to take a "wait and see" approach to the changes. Never mind that once the lighting was up there would be no turning back. She ended her article by asking her readers, "what do you think?"

Well, the new lights debuted shortly before the Independence Day holiday weekend, and I've waited for Saffron's take but, from what I can tell, the Inquirer has only had one article about the lights since they went back on - a piece by a staff writer about their unveiling.

I haven't seen the new lights in person, or even driven by them on the Schuylkill Expressway, but PoliticsPhilly has a link to a Gizmag article about the lights that includes a couple of pictures.

It doesn't look good:

Before the change-over started, the project's engineer promised that the boathouse lights would retain their warmth but, compared to the original, I think the new lights give the feeling of the cheap rope lighting used at the local megaplex, not of warm light, especially when seen next to the neighboring incandescent streetlights.

In her article, Saffron questioned whether the color-changing capabilities of the new lights would be used to have the boathouses "gussied up like a Christmas tree." Unfortunately, I think we have our answer:

Queue the Alan Jackson music.

I'm not some Luddite who's against all change (in fact, I sometimes feel that Saffron is too quick to type "save, save, save" about buildings with even the weakest historic significance), but I just knew that if there was the capability to use color, the color would be used poorly, and used often. Boathouse Row now risks becoming some easily duplicated "gee-whiz" landmark, rather than remaining the uniquely beautiful Philadelphia landmark it once was.

Elephantine Beat

I've created a photo album of some of the pictures I took of Lucy the Elephant while on vacation. Lucy isn't easy to explain, but I'll try: Lucy is a 125-year old giant wooden elephant that was built  to attract home-buyers to South Atlantic City (now Margate). If you want more information, I suggest you go to Lucy's website (what elephant doesn't have a website these days?).

Lucy may sound like a boring ol' tourist attraction, but this is no "Giant Ball of Twine." We try to go every summer 'cause the kids love it and the view from the top of Lucy is pretty cool.

Click here for the photos.

Short Shrift

1. I find it funny that on the cover of its "Best Places to Live" issue, Philadelphia Magazine puts a McMansion so lacking of any homeyness that I would never want to live in it. Unless, of course, someone wanted to buy it for me. I'd be cool with that (then I could just turn around and sell it).

2. Even Michael Jackson says, "that's just too weird": State teacher commission probes wound-licking practice by coach. (Via The Morning News.)

3. While I'm nowhere near being on pace to finish my 52 new (to me) films in 2005, I am glad that we used a valuable spot on our Blockbuster-by-Mail queue for a Pee-Wee's Playhouse DVD. You know, for the kids. These shows were jam-packed with both creativity and brilliant humor. The kind of humor that kids laugh at even as it goes right over their heads. You don't get much of that on Dora the Explorer. And the show is completely timeless, other than the Jheri-Curl on Cowboy Curtis (Laurence "Larry" Fishburn). We had to quickly change the subject when the seven-year old asked why the show isn't on the air anymore, but other than that the show has proven itself as one of the rare shows that the whole family can happily watch together. We already own Pee-Wee's Playhouse Christmas Special, and I have a funny feeling that the Easter Bunny might already know about the kids' love of all things Pee-Wee.

4. After reading the first chapter, I've decided order the book I posted about yesterday, Jason Headley's Small Town Odds. While I wouldn't compare it to Richard Russo's work just yet, it's a good enough story to give it a chance.

5. If you haven't looked at my sidebar lately you might not have noticed that I added my Amazon Wish List (or maybe you did and you've just chosen to ignore it). I've also added a photo album with my pictures from the October Kerry Rally. I dig how TypePad organizes their photo albums.

Update: I had to go back into this post to fix a typo, so I'll add one more thing while I'm here:

6. "tom petty in pink underware" - Someone got directed to my blog today by typing that into Google. Serves me right for for checking my StatCounter. I mean, sure, I have the picture they're looking for, but I'm not going to actually publish it. I'd have to take it down from over the living room fireplace and scan it.

I'm kidding, of course. We don't have a fireplace.

Honey Don't

One of my new favorite shows is HGTV’s Designed To Sell, where they have a real estate expert go through a house that won’t sell and point out what can be changed to make it more attractive to buyers. Then designers come in and have a week and $2000 to fix it up. As the real estate expert does her walk-through the owners watch remotely from a neighbor’s house and always seem upset that she thinks that they should do little things like removing that corpse in the dinning room. Geez-zoo, we’ve been meaning to do that.

Anyway, I mentally went through our house and made a list of all the things that should be done to make it more sellable (not that we’re selling, but it’s not a bad way of thinking). If we were to be featured on Designed To Sell, it would have to be two-hour special edition.

Basement:
Finish trim and floor tiles. A couple of years ago I turned about half the basement into a family room, and stopped with about 3% of the project undone.
Repair hole in wall. Caused by the missus falling out of chair due to unfinished floor tiling.
Move phone jack. Our cordless phone was interfering with our DSL, so we had to move the base into a closet. I need to move the jack in there too.
Cover electrical box. The box is in the finished part of the basement and looks awful. I’m afraid that we’ve gotten used to seeing it.
Paint stairwell. Moisture is making one wall in the unfinished area peel like crazy.

Kitchen:
New microwave. The turntable no longer turns. Done.
New dishwasher. We went with the cheapest model when we first moved in, and it never worked well. A source of constant frustration for me. Purchased, needs to be installed.
Ceiling fan / additional lighting. Our ceiling fan is ugly and sad, and the room needs a lot more task lighting.
Flooring. Really should do something about the dingy vinyl flooring. The floor is already a good half-inch above the other rooms so, short of ripping out the layers of old flooring, I’m not sure what to do.
Storage. Whoever designed our kitchen seemed to either really like blank walls or really hate cabinets.
Fix junk drawer. Apparently there is a limit to how much you can shove into a junk drawer.

Mud Room:
Replace flooring. I bought a roll of flooring a few years ago, never got around to laying it.
Replace door. Our mud room was added on by some misguided owner and has an odd sized doorway that makes replacing the old weather-beaten door complicated.
Paint. Most of the room is either windows or the door, so this shouldn’t take long. It’s just that the recyclables that we store in there haven’t been complaining about it too much.

Dining Room:
Remove wallpaper. If I just wait a little while longer the wallpaper will finish peeling off by itself.
Paint. Already got the paint (leftover from another project), just got to get around to it. Number one on the missus' list.

Living Room:
Nothing! Can this be right?

Playroom:
Replace rug. The rug looks like it was taken out of a Jiffy Lube waiting room.
Paint. The walls are all a fishing cabin-like paneling.

Foyer/Stairs:
Paint. Our stairway looks like a finger-painting exhibition.

Upstairs Hall:
Replace attic access. So that someone other than me can close it.
Replace bathroom pipe access panel. For some unknown reason, the previous owners thought it would be a good idea to make this stand out.
Replace light. So the attic access door no longer comes thisclose to it.

Master Bedroom:
Replace rug. The room looks great since we painted, except for the girly (and grimy) pink rug.
Replace fan. After thirteen months, our “new” fan doesn’t always want to work. Replaced.

Middle Bedroom:
Paint closet. Doesn't seem like a big deal, but it has a big water stain from an old leak.

Back Bedroom:
Fix radiator. It has a slight leak that has been dripping onto the dining room ceiling.
Paint. It seems like we just painted this, but it’s getting dingy and is a little too childish for the seven-year-old.

Porch:
Paint floor. Never fun.
New storm door. As nice as our big front door looks, it has a dirty old ugly storm door covering it. Of course, it’s an oversized opening and needs a custom (read: $$$$) door.

Well, all this shouldn't take more than a decade or so to complete.

I also need to get in touch with the former owners of the house to find out who installed the roof. It lost some shingles recently and is causing rain to leak into the back bedroom. According to our home sale files it’s less than ten years old and I assume should still be under warranty. I need to do this soon, but the former owners weren’t the easiest people to deal with. I have to find a way to ask for the information in a way that will get them to cooperate.

Update (12:58 PM): Despite what it sounds like, we really don't live in a hellhole. Really.

Unenlightening

The Philadelphia Inquirer gave its Architecture Critic, the almost-always cranky (and usually justifiably so) Inga Saffron, a primo spot on the front page today (below the fold, but still) – and she blew it.

It seems that the Fairmount Park Commission has turned off the lights that adorn Boathouse Row. They hope by pulling the plug they will inspire locals to match Peco’s contribution and donate $150,000 so the current incandescent lights can be replaced by a state-of-the-art LED system. The Park Commission says that the incandescent bulbs blow out too often and drains $8000 a year in electricity, compared to $1000 for the new system. And hey, they can color the new lights any of 16 million gaudy colors like pink for Breast Cancer Awareness Month or green for the Eagles or a vomit-esque brown for the Wing Bowl.

What bugs me about the Saffron piece is that she really has no opinion on the new lights. She repeats a lot of what is stated in an article by Thomas Fitzgerald (which could have easily been the front page piece), tells us that the project could come in over the projected $300K (you think?), gets assurances from the higher ups that the LED lights will look as “warm” as the current lights, tells us that she doesn’t want Boathouse Row lit up “like a Christmas display,” and then admits that “colored architectural lights have a long history” (without giving any examples).

The conclusion of her piece is: we need to discuss this. It would seem to me that a. it’s a little too late for that, and b. critics make their money telling us their opinion, not asking for ours. I don’t recall her (or any Inky critic) ever asking for public input to help make up his or her mind. That’s what she went to college for and it’s what the Inky pays her to do. I might not always like her opinion, but I want to hear it. And if you have a critic who doesn’t really have an opinion, it makes for a poor front-page article.

As for me, I’m not so attached to the old lights to not give the new ones a try. There’s so much architectural and historical destruction going on in Philly that I really don’t have a problem with someone trying to better a landmark rather than just tearing it down. To tell you the truth, when I’m passing Boathouse Row going down the Schuylkill Expressway at night what catches my eye aren’t the lights that work but the one’s that are out. I wish they could do all this without the stupid special-event colored lights (leave that to the skyscrapers), but if that’s what it takes to get the public into it, fine.

I don’t like the way that they just switched off the lights with little or no warning. It looks like they’re trying to hold the city hostage (and they’re asking for money when a lot of people are sending it to the Indian Ocean area) but it’s probably the most affective way. I would almost guarantee that it would go over budget, just like most of these projects do. They need to do what the organizers of the Ben Franklin lighting project did – get the lights up and worry about creditors later. They also run the risk of looking like fools if they have to can the project and turn the old lights back on, but I don’t see that happening. I think this project is perfect for showy corporate sponsorship and I assume a lot of the citizens who belong to the private rowing clubs down there have some Benjamins to spare.

There you have it, my opinion. Front-page stuff.